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Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Twinisms

So I created a new page to highlight some of the more common things that we talk about in our household.  Some are quite surprising, others I think are pretty standard, however, I am still always amazed at the frequency with which some of these things are said.  I'll be updating it often so keep checking back.

Check it out here

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Life Lesson for My Little Men #40


So I am a worrywart.  Always have been.  Most of my life, I was the cautious one in the room, taking my time to do things that friends would do with reckless abandon.  Being a dad has in ways magnified this.  I know what folks will say and the realist in me constantly repeats in my head "you can't spend your whole life worried about what will happen to you, or worse, them."  However, all the efforts of my partner, family, friends or realistic Ian still leave me alone in a place of anxiety about what I cannot prevent.  Before you go thinking I am paranoid or over protective I'll stop you, because I am not, in fact rarely had my worry translated into action.

For example, we have a curved set of stairs in our house (hardwood) which are outfitted with a baby gate at the top, however, Adrienne and I made a conscious decision to teach James and Andrew how to use the stairs at an early age.  Recognizing we wouldn't always be there to hold hands or carry, this was an important skill for them to master.  This was not a flawless approach and there were some small tumbles, nothing permanently bruised or damaged and now they move up and down freely.

Recently though this worry is manifesting itself in my conscious and unconscious thoughts. Yesterday as an example we were playing ball hockey in our shared drive (me standing at the bottom retrieving errant shots (which happens a fair amount when the sticks are in the hands of 2.5 year olds).  As I retrieved a ball from behind our neighbour's cargo van, Andrew followed and I felt the need to stop him and tell him to never walk behind the van.  I know that this one moment in time will not stick in his memory and that our role as parents when they are this young is to set them up for success in a way that doesn't require decision making that is beyond their stage of development, but the vision in my head was of my neighbour reversing over my son and me not being able to stop it (not that our neighbour is reckless or doesn't have two little ones of his own).   I share this story as a reflection opportunity in an effort to help me or anyone else understand the struggle between what I know and what I feel.

So my little men who are blowing my mind each day with what you are learning, I guess the lesson is this: there are times when worry and caution are important and it is important to recognize and think about why you are feeling anxious, after all it is a survival technique.  Try not to let it dominate your experiences and keep you sheltered from things that will open your mind and your eyes.  As you navigate the world, it is entirely possible that anxiety, stress, and worry overcome everything else.  In these moments, I hope that you will have people in your life who will support you and empower you to cope and persist.  I also hope that you can include me in that group but will try and understand that this may not be the case all of the time.

Love always, 

Dad

PS - thank you so much for letting me be Fred from Scooby Doo, I always thought his ascot was so cool!

Friday, April 11, 2014

Life Lesson For My Little Men #39

Recently, I have noticed a huge increase in the imaginative play that both James and Andrew are taking part in.  Some of the funniest dialogue comes out of these experiences.  For example, last night Andrew said in the most serious tone "I REALLY want to paint" while holding paint brush and dipping it in an empty bottle and spreading it on the floor.  Routinely now, stuffed animals have been renamed to be characters in favourite books or movies and we have begun to play doctor's office (not doctor, but doctor's office - the difference lies in the all of the actions leading up to the actual appointment, like registering at the desk, getting weighed, etc. vs. what is normally portrayed).  I am such a huge fan of the boys being creative and exploring the reaches of their imagination.  In a world in which we are often held in check by the limitations of reality and told to get our heads out of the clouds, there is something truly rewarding about watching these two lives seek out limitless imagination and dreams. 

On the less exhilarating side of this same discussion is the fact that quite regularly Adrienne and I (reluctantly or are mandated to) assume the roles of a character in some story.  This has sometimes worked in our favour, like the time she was Ariel and I was Prince Eric (Little Mermaid) but other times less so.  My favourite thus far has been Jasper and Horace (the bumbling villains from 101 Dalmations).  Adrienne was decidedly given the role of Jasper the tall, thin and reluctant brains of the operation while yours truly was told in no uncertain terms that I was Horace (shorter, plumper and dimmer).  Whatever, how long can this last, an hour or two...no big deal, right!  Oh No! It still pops up, every now and then, at obscure moments...

Imagination is an amazing thing my little men.  The ability to truly dream big, think beyond the boundaries of what seems to be reality and what is possible is something that I hope you never lose.  I used to do a presentation on the importance of having dreams beyond just the rational goals that we are taught are important and I truly believe this.  The world needs people who dream bug and use their imagination and creativity to go beyond what has been defined as limits.  You are off to a great start.  Keep playing, singing, creating, and dreaming but perhaps more importantly please keep sharing with the world what those ideas and dreams are.

Love Always,

Horace AKA Dad