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Thursday, September 3, 2015

Life Lesson #48 - 4 Years Old

How do you summarize 4 years of learning and growing in one blog post? You don't.  In fact, it would make little sense to try.  Four years of lessons taught, lessons learned, insights gained and opportunities gone by would be challenging to fit in a novel so instead, I'm going to write about one exchange that took place late in the day, when dad and his sons were both wiped.

We spent yesterday at Canada's Wonderland.  I was fortunate to take the day off work, which can be personally challenging as this is a point in the year when work is beyond busy and I am beyond personally invested in being there.  The day at Wonderland was filled with rides, dinosaurs, funnel cake and walking.  It was tiring.  At one point, James was asked what ride he wanted to go on next.  His response, "is there a ride that is shaped like a bed?  One that is a soft bed I can have a little rest on."  By the time 3 pm came around we were all done and began the commute home, which meant more walking.  At home it was dinner with grandparents and the opening of a few gifts.  By the time bedtime came around everyone needed it. 

We measured heights on the chart on the wall noting both have added about 3.5" in the last year. After a few stories and the brushing of teeth we began the slow migration into bed.  When James and Andrew get tired, they get chatty.  They can talk a conversation in circles better than any politician and as I heard the same thing for the third time I began to get frustrated.  Eventually, I played the stern voice card which given their mental state led to tears.  As I realized my error in patience and comforted James, I offered an explanation/excuse for my frustration.  That's when Andrew looked at me and said, "Dad, why when you are frustrated do you not speak in your normal voice? Why do you use your angry voice?" In a moment, I learned how much they have grown and learned.  We have often encouraged James and Andrew to talk out their frustrations.  We have often asked them to reflect on how a situation might have gone better had they been able to express their feelings without using their angry voice.  I have often thought that they weren't hearing us.  And yesterday I was proved wrong.  Oh they are hearing and have even learned to question what they see as inappropriate behaviour when an adult does it.

So four years later and I am still amazed at how being their dad makes me feel.  On a daily basis I feel pride, happiness, love, kindness, charmed, gracious, thankful, and the list goes on.  Somedays I feel frustrated, and that's okay as long as I express that frustration in a way that is appropriate (firm, kind, and sincere).  Andrew and James, you taught me that!

Love on your 4th birthday,

Dad