Growing up in rural southern Ontario my experience with diversity and culture was somewhat limited. I was fortunate to have two liberal minded parents who valued curiosity, tolerance, and understanding. I could count on two hands the number of students of visibly diverse identities I attended school with. So, when I moved away to university I had had limited experience with diversity. My CQ knowledge would be low. In university, through my work in residence life, I learned far more about diversity as I met students from all over the world. While the institution I attended was incredibly white, I was taught how to be inclusive and equally important the beginning stages of empathy. Now as a professional, I consider myself to be a champion of empathy and advocate for equity.
When I think of James and Andrew's world I am excited by how different it is. As they talk about children in class I can't help but smile at the names they are learning and how the fabric of diverse faces is normal. However, I also temper my excitement by asking myself the question "So Now What?" Exposure to diversity certainly helps shape understanding and tolerance but that can't be the goal. In my opinion acceptance and celebration require more intentional learning and are often derived from an environment that empowers curiosity. To draw inspiration from a favourite Green Jedi "curiosity leads to empathy, empathy leads to acceptance, acceptance leads equity," obviously with a whole lot of work along the way.
So how do we as parents push our children to go beyond exposure and be appropriately curious? We try by modelling curiosity at home...we ask them about the students and teachers in their class and encourage them to learn more. For example, James and Andrew mentioned that their teacher wears a scarf on her head. I asked them if they knew what it was called and when they responded negatively I coached them on how they might ask. Again, this is surface level stuff but valuable for four year olds to be comfortable with.
When we first had the boys, parents in the neighbourhood assumed we would be sending them to the catholic school because of their skin colour. We saw first hand the subtle and sometimes overt challenges to our own values of acceptance and inclusion as some, almost as a warning, mentioned that they would be the only white kids in their class. Our response then was "good, that makes me happy." What I am now reminding myself of is our need to do more. To encourage them to be brave and ask questions, to learn more, to push the boundaries of assumptions and to be part of a community of change.
So little men, you have a great opportunity ahead of you. The world is a wonderful place filled with many ways of knowing and being. My hope for you is that you get to experience and learn the value of diversity, encourage inclusion of others, and advocate for equity as you grow. So ask questions, seek knowledge and live empathetically.
Love Dad
PS - contrary to popular belief I have been driving for far longer than you have been alive and while I appreciate the feedback and certainly value the safe operation of a motor vehicle (two hands on the wheel) I have to admit that being told by my son or his sandwich to put two hands on the wheel or that I am driving too fast is not something I am entirely comfortable with.
