Life Lesson for My Little Men #17

Many new parents have challenges getting their baby to sleep.  When you have two little wonders, these challenges are magnified ( I would say doubled, but I don't think that this accurately reflects just how overwhelming it can feel) and you often are left seeking answers.  Now, unless you have a solid support network of people who have been through it, you may find that you feel quite alone.  The internet and books can be helpful, and certainly, after giving birth to our two young fellows, we have met and been reunited with many friends who are in the same situation.  However, at the end of the day (literally) you are in it yourself and we certainly struggled.

About a month ago, maybe more now, it's hard to remember, we set about trying to build a stronger routine for our boys, specifically around bedtime.  We set out starting to adjust bedtime earlier and earlier in the evening often preceded by a bath and some reading (sometimes Winnie the Pooh, Dr. Seuss or Robert Munsch, but often something a little shorter).  As we crept closer to a more reasonable time for all of us to hit the hay, the boys mounted a rebellion of mythical proportions.  One day it just seemed like they had a closed door meeting, decided that this new plan was devious and not something that would be tolerated and so they would put a stop to it.  Their protests mounted, often involving tears, sometimes smiles but the results were always the same, two very tired parents and two unhappy and overtired little men.

Each baby is different, and when you have twins, you will realize that each of them is different too.  This becomes incredibly evident when it becomes times for bed.  One of our boys loves story time with Dad, he would spend the entire time sitting and staring at me as I read through a book, complete with voices.  The other, would much rather be coddled and held by mom and while he tolerates story time, it really isn't his thing.  One thing that we found as time marched on is that our two boys did much better while in bed with us than in their crib.  And there came a time when we looked at each other and said, is this really worth it, and the answer was no.  So for the last few months we have been sharing a bed with our two sprawling little men and things have been great.  It certainly helps that neither of us is a restless sleeper and nothing is truly as rewarding as falling asleep with your little boy cuddled up next to you. 

Now I know what you are thinking (or maybe not)...Isn't co-sleeping frowned upon, and the answer is yes...but we have decided to ignore the "surgeon general type" warnings and put our own sanity and the happiness of our little men first.  And since making this decision, I must say we are all sleeping a little better and being a little happier, not to mention the fact that there is something amazing about waking up with your child right next to you.  For a while, we didn't really talk about this with other people, and even once we did, it was with an essence of guilt.  I would say, even now we aren't overly comfortable just blurting this out...although, once this blog is published, I guess that's out the window.  All this is to say that it was important for us to make a decision that was right for us and each family should feel that they have the same right to do so.  

So my little cover stealing boys, now that you are sharing the bed with us I think there are a few important life lessons you can learn.  Number 1, if you are going to let one go...which you will...it is important that you attempt to create an opening to vent , otherwise you may trap something under the covers that will confuse and disgust your bed mate...This is an even more important life lesson as you get older...Number 2, remember that life is about making good choices for you and your family.  Sometimes this will buck the trends or even go against something that is recommended, the important thing is that you take the time to make a rational decision that is in your (and in this case it's the royal your) best interests.  Life is complicated and often the so-called experts write and comment based on generalities, this is helpful in informing our opinion but is not the be all and end all.  I am glad we didn't listen, as not only are we all more rested but I am pretty sure that this stage of your life will be relatively short (in the sense that pretty soon you won't want me in your room let alone cuddling you to sleep) and it has been nice to hold and comfort you to sleep.

Love,

Dad

Life Lesson for My Little Men #16

So since becoming a father a few things have become all to prevalent in my thoughts.  I am sure that this is the case for many parents as you begin to make changes and take stock of your life.  First off, I have started thinking a great deal about my own life as a child, perhaps planning for an equally rewarding experience for my little fellows.  Of course, my memories often leave out several of the more traumatic experiences and frequently dwell on the exciting or enjoyable (for example, I think of trips to Florida or Disney and leave out the countless visits to Pioneer Villages).  Second, I have started to think about my own mortality...which is something I have often avoided as I have not yet come to terms with it.  Completely related to this is a third new thought which is what world will I leave my children and how will I teach them to leave the world to their kids.  

When we found out we were having twins we decided to make an effort to limit the impact our little ones would have on the environment.  We made a choice to go with cloth diapers, which took some getting used to for both us and the babies, and is requiring further adjustment now that we are starting on solid foods.  I'll explain this further, the cloth diapers we use (happy nappy), in order to be absorbent tend to be much thicker than your traditional disposable.  They are also unique as they are often hand made and so there is some variation in fit.  Finally, there is a liner, which adds an additional step to each diapering session.  On our initial attempt, Adrienne and I didn't know if we would be able to do it...but now, 6 months later, we are hooked and definitely wouldn't go in the other direction.  We do use disposables when we are traveling (appointments, visiting, etc.) and that's enough for us.

Our second commitment was to source as many of our purchases on resale websites like kijiji or craigslist.  Not only does this make good economic sense (the baby product industry, and I believe I can call it that as in my opinion any industry that convinces us that our babies need a warmer for something that wipes their butts is in it for the almighty $$$), but it also supports others in your local area.  In doing this, where ever possible we have tried to buy products that will last and that can be resold or donated to others at a later date.  

In all of our purchases, we have tried to buy products that are made in Canada a plan that carried over from our recent home purchase.  We often do this at a greater expense than if we were to cruise down to the local Walmart (there are soon to be 3 within 3 km of our house...yikes!), but I am more than willing to pay a few dollars more for something that was made here, employed a Canadian but more importantly didn't come across an ocean on a giant, diesel guzzling ship.   The sad part is that what you will find is that there are many things that you simply can't find that have been produced here.  Sad in the sense that it is seen as cheaper (not more sustainable) to ship millions of tiny baby spoons from across the ocean than to simply make them here...in the end though, I question the cheaper/more profitable part of this argument when in the long run it may be our generation or even worse my boys' generation that will need to figure out how to maintain society without fossil fuels to produce food, ship items, drive to work, etc.

We have also made an effort to make our own food.  Again, there are sometimes that this is a challenge and it simply doesn't make sense to do so.  This way we can control what is put in the food, but we can also cut down on the amount of additional waste that we generate.  So far, so good on this one.  Our boys seem ok with their pureed peas, carrots, yams and pears and Adrienne is an excellent cook, I haven't yet ventured into this world.

So my fast growing little men, as you walk through life it is important that you remember your place in this great wide world.  I don't mean this to be daunting and deflating (as often you will feel that you are small and cannot make a difference) but more so to reflect on all that you have been given and all that you must leave to those who follow.  Far too often, we leave things or don't make the smallest of efforts because we don't believe that they have an impact or because they are inconvenient.  For many of us, we should feel privileged that at this point convenience can even weigh into this decision...for your generation my little ones, I am not sure that will be the case.  My point is this, even small changes can make an impact...and the scope of our ability to effect change should never be a part of the question or answer, because truthfully if we all took baby steps...wouldn't we effect change?!?!  People are often quoted as saying that their goal in life is to leave the world a better place than how they found it...however, does this make sense if we are not giving our all to actually leave a physical planet to inhabit?!?!  So as you continue to grow please remember that whenever you can, make decisions that will help heal or sustain the greatest gift we have all been given...this planet to inhabit until such day as we leave it to the next generation.  I wish more in my generation had done a better job of this for you.  Even your smallest efforts will have impact...the important part is that you make the effort.  Love, Dad.