Life Lesson For My Little Men #26

So after a few months of struggling through the ever increasing needs of baby proofing (struggling being a poor choice of words, but the best that I can find to fit), I think we have finally come to a reasonable balance between safety and the need to live some semblance of a realistic existence.  As I noted in an earlier post, when James and Andrew began crawling life for Adrienne and I dramatically changed.  Nothing it seems was off limits and for our little ones, the word “No” usually results in a wry smile and giggle as we continue to do what it was that got Dad or Mom so riled up in the first place.  I have decided that it might be beneficial for folks to read a little about this journey as you find your way through the exploration phase. 

First off, anything made of paper is not only tearable but edible…good to know if you have a magazine rack or books that are within 3 and half feet from the ground.  Next, if it is new to them (i.e. They have not seen it in the past 24 hours), then it is brand new and needs to be touched or preferably put in their mouths.  Another nice twist on this dynamic with twins is that it maybe new to one of them and then five minutes later new to the other…creating a constantly rotating game of keep away and possible jealousy.  Another good thing to note is that as they become stronger and can stand, what was out of reach quickly becomes in reach or at least worth making the effort for.  This includes, items on the kitchen table and pets.  If you have a cat it will be a good idea to help your babies (y) understand how to be gentle and what parts (tail) are off limits.  We have also turned off the pilot light on our gas fireplace.  There are grates that you can buy to keep little hands away from the incredibly hot glass, but until we take that leap we thought it was best to leave nothing to chance.  Another good thing to know is that you will have to buy a few things, here’s a list of what we have found works:

1) Safety gates (we bought an even-flo gate from sears, and then Canadian Tire, when we discovered that a tension gate at the top of a short flight of stairs wasn’t quite up to the task). http://www.evenflo.com/product.aspx?id=230

2)   Outlet covers (initially we bought the traditional stick in to the socket covers, but these quickly became a source of entertainment for our lads so we went back to the drawing board and purchased a sliding cover that works on springs). http://www.kidco.com/products-page/electrical/s205/

3)   Cupboard door locks (in the kitchen we have a combination of Ikea basic drawer locks and the magnetic ones that unlock with a key.  Both require some drilling in your cabinets, which caused a bit of apprehension at first, but as long as you are comfortable with a drill and take your time, you’ll be fine). http://www.tot-lok.com/

4)   Our TV stand has two sliding glass drawers that required additional locking mechanisms
http://www.kidco.com/products-page/locks-latches/s410/
5)   Oven knob guards (we have a gas oven and the knobs are on the front, so even if they aren’t able to light it, they could turn it on.  So these are incredibly important).

http://www.safetysuperstore.com/product/18641/clearly_safe_stove_knob_locks/

As I mentioned above, this is an ever-evolving process.  Each day our boys become stronger and more independent meaning that we have to find new ways to keep dangerous objects out of their way.  However, the look of pride that crosses their face when they take a few steps or find something new is completely worth the effort needed to make our place safer.

So my little men who find new ways to make me smile with every minute of every day, I think an important thing to remember is this.  Often we try and do everything to keep those that we love safe from harm, and sometimes we do so at the expense of learning.  We have tried not to remove every obstacle in your way, as obstacles will be a part of your everyday.  Similarly, we often learn to avoid things that may push our limits of understanding or ability, just ask your mom about the two times I have been inline skating with her.  This is a challenging lesson to unlearn.  Life is about discovery.  Modern life has found ways for us to stay in a bubble, but it has also afforded us with great possibilities to learn new things.  It will be important for you to keep an open mind and truly explore the world around you beyond the borders of comfort, safety and ease…please try and take every opportunity to be brave and while the important caveat is that you find balance in doing so, I don’t say so with the thought towards extending limits but to ask you to think before you leap.

Keep exploring, discovering, smiling and laughing!!!!

Love,

Dad

PS – Thanks for your help with the laundry the other day.  Your mom and I truly appreciate the enthusiasm with which you help us unfold what is folded and empty the basket…you have a gift.

Life Lesson for my Little Men #25

The other day I had a moment.  A moment of doubt.  I am not sure what set it off but in that moment I felt as though I could see the future or at least a possible future (If Marty McFly has taught me anything it's that the future hasn't been written yet, that and I really want a Delorean).  This moment of doubt centred on my ability (or should I say our) ability to raise our boys to be confident yet respectful members of society.  Maybe what set me off was a walk through the mall during back to school time and seeing some children who have so much upset because they couldn't have a bit more or the latest one of "those".  Or maybe it was while we were out walking the dog and realized that some young people (and old for that matter) won't move over to share the sidewalk with you.  Maybe it was witnessing the sense of entitlement shown by so many members of our society (whether they be young or old or unfortunately elected officials).  Whatever it was, I had a moment of doubt...doubt that we would be able to overcome the peer influence that seems so prevalent and is often reinforced by media and advertising.  

This combined with James and Andrew's most recent discovery that the best toy is the one my brother has and that if I want something and it is taken away, I should scream and stick out a lower lip that could host big birds nest.  I know at just over a year, they aren't really at a point where they understand sharing, and I certainly wouldn't expect them to comprehend the relative privilege that they have inherited but I will admit, it was the first glimpse of a future battle to be fought.  The reason I choose the term battle is not because of the expected stubbornness of a pair who can trace their lineage back to Scotland and the Netherlands but because of all of the influences to be overcome.  In that moment it truly seemed daunting.  So what pulled me out of it.  Again, I am not entirely sure, so it must not have been one particularly thing.  What I know is that watching how quickly James and Andrew can pick up something new and with how much enthusiasm they learn, I feel that we can nudge, lead and show them the right direction.  As I watch them zip around our house, exploring and finding newness around every corner and under every pillow my feelings of doubt are overwhelmed by my realization of what is possible.

So my little men, who are getting into more and more everyday the lesson that I hope you will take (and that you have taught me) from this post is this: Remember that you are both incredibly special people, but that you are no more special than anyone else.   This means that each person you meet deserves to be treated as though they are as special as you are.  As somebody who works with young people and is in a profession that seeks to support their development, I often meet folks in various stages of their understanding of this fact.  The current mellenial generation has been maligned as having a sense of entitlement (which I would argue is interesting given the damage done to our planet by the previous generations in the pursuit of wealth and power), which is not inherited at birth but taught, in some cases by parents who believe that their child is special and above reproach.  My hope for you is that you feel confident that you are special, but that within that confidence you have a humility that will lead you to respect even those you have never met for who they are.  Finding a balance in this way is challenging given our natural urge to compete, but it is essential to finding happiness with who you are, what you have been given, and how you in turn will give back.

Love,

Dad

PS - I love the fact that each day when I come home from work you have decided to relocate much of the furniture, although you have a flair for the dramatic, I don't always think it is overly functional.

PPS - I don't so much love that you take my book mark out of my book each day (it's like a daily memory test, which I must admit I may not be passing)...but I'll survive