Life Lesson for my Little Men #25

The other day I had a moment.  A moment of doubt.  I am not sure what set it off but in that moment I felt as though I could see the future or at least a possible future (If Marty McFly has taught me anything it's that the future hasn't been written yet, that and I really want a Delorean).  This moment of doubt centred on my ability (or should I say our) ability to raise our boys to be confident yet respectful members of society.  Maybe what set me off was a walk through the mall during back to school time and seeing some children who have so much upset because they couldn't have a bit more or the latest one of "those".  Or maybe it was while we were out walking the dog and realized that some young people (and old for that matter) won't move over to share the sidewalk with you.  Maybe it was witnessing the sense of entitlement shown by so many members of our society (whether they be young or old or unfortunately elected officials).  Whatever it was, I had a moment of doubt...doubt that we would be able to overcome the peer influence that seems so prevalent and is often reinforced by media and advertising.  

This combined with James and Andrew's most recent discovery that the best toy is the one my brother has and that if I want something and it is taken away, I should scream and stick out a lower lip that could host big birds nest.  I know at just over a year, they aren't really at a point where they understand sharing, and I certainly wouldn't expect them to comprehend the relative privilege that they have inherited but I will admit, it was the first glimpse of a future battle to be fought.  The reason I choose the term battle is not because of the expected stubbornness of a pair who can trace their lineage back to Scotland and the Netherlands but because of all of the influences to be overcome.  In that moment it truly seemed daunting.  So what pulled me out of it.  Again, I am not entirely sure, so it must not have been one particularly thing.  What I know is that watching how quickly James and Andrew can pick up something new and with how much enthusiasm they learn, I feel that we can nudge, lead and show them the right direction.  As I watch them zip around our house, exploring and finding newness around every corner and under every pillow my feelings of doubt are overwhelmed by my realization of what is possible.

So my little men, who are getting into more and more everyday the lesson that I hope you will take (and that you have taught me) from this post is this: Remember that you are both incredibly special people, but that you are no more special than anyone else.   This means that each person you meet deserves to be treated as though they are as special as you are.  As somebody who works with young people and is in a profession that seeks to support their development, I often meet folks in various stages of their understanding of this fact.  The current mellenial generation has been maligned as having a sense of entitlement (which I would argue is interesting given the damage done to our planet by the previous generations in the pursuit of wealth and power), which is not inherited at birth but taught, in some cases by parents who believe that their child is special and above reproach.  My hope for you is that you feel confident that you are special, but that within that confidence you have a humility that will lead you to respect even those you have never met for who they are.  Finding a balance in this way is challenging given our natural urge to compete, but it is essential to finding happiness with who you are, what you have been given, and how you in turn will give back.

Love,

Dad

PS - I love the fact that each day when I come home from work you have decided to relocate much of the furniture, although you have a flair for the dramatic, I don't always think it is overly functional.

PPS - I don't so much love that you take my book mark out of my book each day (it's like a daily memory test, which I must admit I may not be passing)...but I'll survive