We have a walker!!! It's been a few weeks in the making and I feel that I held off making any sort of claim before taking a couple of frantic steps and then sitting became a full on walk from one end of the dining room to the other. Talk about incredible. It's amazing to see just how much pride can flow from such a tiny little man, eyes beaming, huge smiles as he walks towards his dad/victim for a huge pile on. The inevitable next question is, if James is walking what about Andrew? For a short time, we thought that maybe he just didn't want to. He can reach just about anything that he wants by using the walls, furniture and other assorted items to get where he needs to go. He has a walker which he uses to torment the dog, cat and yes his younger brother while laughing maniacally (something we hope he loses by the time he can drive, coincidentally the walker has a horn). However, given some of the more recent happenings including an accidental stand and few quick steps forward now have us thinking that Andrew isn't there yet because he isn't confident in his ability.
Here's what we have noticed. James, started standing on his own at the beginning of the summer. He would stand up for a few seconds and then quickly sit down. Andrew was happier on the ground and while he will now stand up on his own (if he has something to hold onto) he will only do so as long as he has support. When James took his first few steps we fully expected that he would slowly progress to walking for longer periods of time...very quickly it was obvious that what was holding him back was not ability but confidence. As soon as he realized he could do it, and also what walking enables him to do, he has progressed to it being his primary mode of getting from A to B (Block A has a picture of a frog on it and Block B an air plane?!?!). Andrew is still taking his time figuring this out. The other day, I lifted Andrew up by his hips and set his feet on the floor. He stood there for a bit, I don't think he realized that I wasn't holding him up, then he staggered forward before sitting on his bum. This few seconds of free standing glory cemented our theory (well kinda cemented...) that he is just lacking the belief he can do it. It wasn't until he noticed that I had let go that he started to bend his knees into a sitting position.
So now what? How do you build confidence in a 13 month old? We are gradually weening him off the walker (more for the safety of all who happen to be sitting or standing in the general proximity of his intended path than for the walking). We are sure to praise him each time he makes a step forward (pun intended). And we are calling him and encouraging him to take on this challenge. At the end of the day, all we can do, I suppose, is create an environment where he believes he can succeed and is safe enough that he won't hurt himself when he doesn't. Interestingly enough, it seems that his slow acceptance of bi-pod transportation is more of an issue for his mom and dad than it is for him...It's not that we worry that he isn't keeping up from a self conscious parent perspective, but more so it is difficult to heap praise on James and see him smile while Andrew sits by his toys and looks a bit bewildered by the whole thing. In the end, I am sure he will get there, so really, I guess, what does it matter.
So my little men I guess what I am taking from this moment in our story is this, never underestimate the importance in being confident when starting something new. Often times, we encounter new things, sometimes by choice and sometimes not...and equally often, how we approach these new things is directly related to how much confidence we have in our abilities to succeed. Clearly, we are taught this at a very young age. I wouldn't say it is intentional but simply the natural inclination of a thinking and feeling being...that is to say that if the result of unsuccessfully trying something new is a lump on the head, of course the next time we try we will be a bit more cautious. As you grow, the physical lumps become fewer and fewer but the emotional ones make up the difference and then some. Try your best to find a balance of confidence and caution, don't be discouraged by failure (it is a better teacher than success), and remember that if you truly put your mind to something you will get there, eventually...when you are ready...
Love Dad
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