Today, I had my first experience dropping James and Andrew off at the Jelly Bean Club, which is a 2 hour program they attend once a week at the local community centre. Adrienne explained everything to me before I left and I was well versed in the challenges of the drop off. There would likely be some tears, some red eyes and the emergence of the dreaded lower lip. I was also fully aware that both James and Andrew enjoyed being at the Jelly Bean Club. They love playing with new toys, doing crafts and are slowly becoming enthused by singing and dancing. I psyched myself up and we marched out the door and off to hang out with the other "Jelly Beaners". The game plan was quite simple, get in...get out, tear off the band-aid and show no mercy. Easier said than done. As we entered the main doors I got caught up in the crowd and in an effort to make good on the logistical needs (paperwork, etc.) I lingered a little and in doing so we got separated...well kind of. When I turned around I saw Andrew racing past me and through the doors and into the classroom but where was James...standing just down the hall, shoulders heaving, eyes just starting to water and lower lip not only jutting out like a shelf but quivering as if it were a shelf hung by his old man before he learned the true value of a stud finder.
I made my move. I walked over, took him by the mitted hand and we walked to the door, he telling me how much he didn't want me to leave and me insisting he would have fun. He seemed unconvinced but as we got to the door an awesome thing happened. Andrew, already fully changed out of his coat, hat, and mittens was waiting for James and as we opened the door greeted him with an enthusiastic "James, let's go play with the dinosaurs." And that was that, off James went. When I came to pick them up, everything of course was fine and we had some fantastic paper bag snowman puppets to show for it. This isn't the first time that either James or Andrew has encouraged the other when they are upset or scared. There have been multiple really cute moments where a word of encouragement or a quick hug has been the helping hand the other has needed. It certainly made me reflect on something I had chatted about with a colleague not to long ago. One of the challenges of raising twins is that they experience everything together...rarely is there a moment where there is an older sibling to model or say "it'll be okay." Today, however, I was reminded of the value of peer encouragement.
So my little but growing men...or as you would say, my big boys, today I was reminded of just how important it is to have others around to push, empower and encourage you to take on something you may otherwise be fearful of. Sure it is great to have somebody who has been there before to show you the ropes, but possibly just as important is receiving that assurance from someone who is going through it with you, especially when that encouragement comes so sincerely and earnestly. You have both already shown an incredible capacity to be that person for each other and I hope that as you grow you will continue to support and push empower one another but also your fellow classmates, friends, and peers.
Love, Dad
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