When we first found out we were pregnant, and I say we because I am sharing my experience although I know that my wife did most of the work on that front, we experienced all emotions imaginable. First of all, we were surprised. We hadn't been trying to get pregnant but more so, we hadn't been trying not to get pregnant for a month or two and so when it happened so quickly, I think surprise was the most natural feeling. Next came an overwhelming feeling of joy and excitement. Things were about to change a great deal in our lives and the thought of caring for a new little one and watching them grow up brought tears to both of our eyes. The third emotion, which again I think is totally natural, was worry and doubt. Doubt in our abilities. Doubt in our preparation. Doubt in the finances (let's be honest, that was my department...as I am sure it is with many dads-to-be). And thus, the roller coaster started...pretty much from the time the little stick indicated we were expecting. Over the next few weeks, the levels of doubt subsided and joy and anticipation took over. We picked up books, read websites and began preparing. We went to our first ultrasound and got our first glimpse at the little kidney bean shaped beginnings of our child to be. Then came the first appointment with the OBGYN. I was at work when I received a frantic call from my wife and immediately thought the worst. As I walked quickly from my office to ensure cell phone reception my office is in a windowless bunker) and to get a bit of privacy I anticipated the worst. Through tears on the other end of the line she said, "It's not what your thinking, it's good news, I think." At this point, I am clueless and waited for what felt like ages before a further explanation arrived. "We are expecting twins." For the next few minutes we reassured each other that this news was great, that it didn't really change anything and we were truly excited. Over the next few days, doubt began to resurface as a secondary emotion. At times, our strength and resolve would fade and we would need reassurance that things were going to be okay. I am not entirely sure what truly helped us through the tougher times, beyond the obvious joy of being parents-to-be. I would like to say it was my undeniable strength of character, however, I know that isn't true...and let's be honest, there are very few people in this world who can be rock solid all of the time (perhaps maybe Hugh Jackman, he seems like he is chiseled out of stone). In the end, I feel that maybe it had more to do with the strength of our relationship with each other, family and friends that helped through the darker times. Whenever one of us was struggling their was always somebody to help focus on the positive, the joy and the love in our lives past, present and future. In the end, we both knew in our hearts that this was something that we were not only ready for, but that would be the greatest experience of our lives. So, to couch this all in a life lesson for my little men I would say this. Are there cloudy days??? Of course, but in the end without clouds would
we appreciate the sun or a cold bevy on a hot day (if you're anything
like your dad...this statement will make a lot of sense in about 18
years...and it better be 18 years;) ). Remember during those cloudy or difficult times that you don't have to go it alone. That there will always be others who can help you through tough times and to see the light in any situation. Your mother and I will be two of those people, but there will also be many others, please don't hesitate to seek out help.
Keep smilin'
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