Now I am sure that I am not the best person to write this blog. The best person would be the person that spends the most time with my two young sons, their mother. However, because blogging is my thing and not hers, you will have to make due with my best offering. What is interesting about our sons is that from very early on, they have been incredibly similar and yet different. They were born only a few minutes apart and at birth their was little difference in their physical traits. They have carried this starting point through the early part of their lives often having less than an ounce or two between them in weight and virtually identical heights. Equally interesting though is how different they are and how early these differences have become noticeable.
To the naked and untrained eye, meaning most strangers, they look identical, but we can tell the difference. Andrew has been lucky enough to inherit his father's awfully large and round head where as James has been blessed by his mothers, longer and thinner face. In terms of personality they are incredibly different. James is the local goof ball often sharing in a quick laugh and voicing his opinion with a shrill squeal that would put most birds of prey to shame. We often exclaim that he has velociraptor in his DNA. Another interesting fact is that James is generally a happy baby but when he goes off, does he ever go off and is harder to bring back than Bonnie from over the ocean or the sea (or however that song goes). He will sob through many of the normal comforts and often can't be consoled with the exception of a well timed gag to get him laughing or some needed mom time.
Andrew on the other hand, tends to be more even keel. He is quieter, is slower to laugh but also slower to cry. His disposition is often harder to crack in terms of a laugh but again, when you get him going her will let out a honk that will warm your heart and hurt your cheeks. He will continue to honk like a goose at the slightest inkling of a repeat performance or continuation of the gag. He is also the more impatient of the two as he voices his displeasure quickly if he feels that he has sat two long between spoonfuls.
What is consistent about the two of them is that they are inconsistent. I write this blog fully knowing that in two or three weeks, this description will seem completely inaccurate, but I thought it important to note how incredibly different they are. The squealer and the honker as we will call them never cease to amaze us. What one likes for food the other will tolerate (usually with a horrified look on his face). The squealer is a late riser, while the honker is up most days shortly after his dad. The squealer is quick to get into everything and anything within reach where as the honker seems to be much more deliberate about his ventures. The squealer is not so good with the whole under water thing, where as the honker's calm demeanor pays huge dividends in his training to be the next Michael Phelps.
All this, as mentioned above, will probably change next week, so we can never put much stock in things staying the same for long with the exception of: they both love their dog and cat (look out Arthur when they start crawling it is on), they both get really excited about bath time, they both have a smile that lights up the darkest room, they both adore their mom (and can you blame them), in fact this list could go on for quite some time...I guess in the end they are more similar than I thought, but I won't be fooled into treating them the same. Perhaps one of the most evident challenges in raising twins is the insistance of others that they are the same. This can be done overtly or subtly. The use of words like they, the boys, the twins, etc. provide a challenge for others but also us as parents. For example the question "how are they sleeping," assumes that they must share the same internal clock and pattern...I'll destroy this myth...they don't. Whenever possible, we try and refer to them by their names rather than as a collective. Believe me though, this is hard even for us as parents, and I certainly am not offended when others use those words to ask a question out of curiosity or care for James or Andrew. I only raise it as something to be mindful of, as I think it represents something that we often do in an increasingly complex world, seeking simplicity by assuming sameness.
So my little men, as you begin to explore the world around you I hope you can find ways to appreciate all of the difference and diversity that this world has to offer. It's true that you will find similarities and familiarities in people that you meet throughout your journey but it is incredibly important that you remember that for all of the similarities that we celebrate we often forget to celebrate our difference. This difference can be expressed in many ways and has often been portrayed as something to be wary of or even fear, despite the truth that it is what makes the mosaic that is life more beautiful. Ask questions, hold back assumptions and seek to understand and enjoy what makes you unique from your brother, your parents, your neighbour, your friend or a person you have never met whether across a crowded restaurant or on the other side of the world. This understanding will help you build incredible relationships, a colourful and complete life and leave a legacy of acceptance and encouragement for those around you.
Love,
Dad
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