Now I am sure that I am not the best person to write this blog. The best person would be the person that spends the most time with my two young sons, their mother. However, because blogging is my thing and not hers, you will have to make due with my best offering. What is interesting about our sons is that from very early on, they have been incredibly similar and yet different. They were born only a few minutes apart and at birth their was little difference in their physical traits. They have carried this starting point through the early part of their lives often having less than an ounce or two between them in weight and virtually identical heights. Equally interesting though is how different they are and how early these differences have become noticeable.
To the naked and untrained eye, meaning most strangers, they look identical, but we can tell the difference. Andrew has been lucky enough to inherit his father's awfully large and round head where as James has been blessed by his mothers, longer and thinner face. In terms of personality they are incredibly different. James is the local goof ball often sharing in a quick laugh and voicing his opinion with a shrill squeal that would put most birds of prey to shame. We often exclaim that he has velociraptor in his DNA. Another interesting fact is that James is generally a happy baby but when he goes off, does he ever go off and is harder to bring back than Bonnie from over the ocean or the sea (or however that song goes). He will sob through many of the normal comforts and often can't be consoled with the exception of a well timed gag to get him laughing or some needed mom time.
Andrew on the other hand, tends to be more even keel. He is quieter, is slower to laugh but also slower to cry. His disposition is often harder to crack in terms of a laugh but again, when you get him going her will let out a honk that will warm your heart and hurt your cheeks. He will continue to honk like a goose at the slightest inkling of a repeat performance or continuation of the gag. He is also the more impatient of the two as he voices his displeasure quickly if he feels that he has sat two long between spoonfuls.
What is consistent about the two of them is that they are inconsistent. I write this blog fully knowing that in two or three weeks, this description will seem completely inaccurate, but I thought it important to note how incredibly different they are. The squealer and the honker as we will call them never cease to amaze us. What one likes for food the other will tolerate (usually with a horrified look on his face). The squealer is a late riser, while the honker is up most days shortly after his dad. The squealer is quick to get into everything and anything within reach where as the honker seems to be much more deliberate about his ventures. The squealer is not so good with the whole under water thing, where as the honker's calm demeanor pays huge dividends in his training to be the next Michael Phelps.
All this, as mentioned above, will probably change next week, so we can never put much stock in things staying the same for long with the exception of: they both love their dog and cat (look out Arthur when they start crawling it is on), they both get really excited about bath time, they both have a smile that lights up the darkest room, they both adore their mom (and can you blame them), in fact this list could go on for quite some time...I guess in the end they are more similar than I thought, but I won't be fooled into treating them the same. Perhaps one of the most evident challenges in raising twins is the insistance of others that they are the same. This can be done overtly or subtly. The use of words like they, the boys, the twins, etc. provide a challenge for others but also us as parents. For example the question "how are they sleeping," assumes that they must share the same internal clock and pattern...I'll destroy this myth...they don't. Whenever possible, we try and refer to them by their names rather than as a collective. Believe me though, this is hard even for us as parents, and I certainly am not offended when others use those words to ask a question out of curiosity or care for James or Andrew. I only raise it as something to be mindful of, as I think it represents something that we often do in an increasingly complex world, seeking simplicity by assuming sameness.
So my little men, as you begin to explore the world around you I hope you can find ways to appreciate all of the difference and diversity that this world has to offer. It's true that you will find similarities and familiarities in people that you meet throughout your journey but it is incredibly important that you remember that for all of the similarities that we celebrate we often forget to celebrate our difference. This difference can be expressed in many ways and has often been portrayed as something to be wary of or even fear, despite the truth that it is what makes the mosaic that is life more beautiful. Ask questions, hold back assumptions and seek to understand and enjoy what makes you unique from your brother, your parents, your neighbour, your friend or a person you have never met whether across a crowded restaurant or on the other side of the world. This understanding will help you build incredible relationships, a colourful and complete life and leave a legacy of acceptance and encouragement for those around you.
Love,
Dad
Showing posts with label environment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label environment. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Life Lesson for My Little Men #16
So since becoming a father a few things have become all to prevalent in my thoughts. I am sure that this is the case for many parents as you begin to make changes and take stock of your life. First off, I have started thinking a great deal about my own life as a child, perhaps planning for an equally rewarding experience for my little fellows. Of course, my memories often leave out several of the more traumatic experiences and frequently dwell on the exciting or enjoyable (for example, I think of trips to Florida or Disney and leave out the countless visits to Pioneer Villages). Second, I have started to think about my own mortality...which is something I have often avoided as I have not yet come to terms with it. Completely related to this is a third new thought which is what world will I leave my children and how will I teach them to leave the world to their kids.
When we found out we were having twins we decided to make an effort to limit the impact our little ones would have on the environment. We made a choice to go with cloth diapers, which took some getting used to for both us and the babies, and is requiring further adjustment now that we are starting on solid foods. I'll explain this further, the cloth diapers we use (happy nappy), in order to be absorbent tend to be much thicker than your traditional disposable. They are also unique as they are often hand made and so there is some variation in fit. Finally, there is a liner, which adds an additional step to each diapering session. On our initial attempt, Adrienne and I didn't know if we would be able to do it...but now, 6 months later, we are hooked and definitely wouldn't go in the other direction. We do use disposables when we are traveling (appointments, visiting, etc.) and that's enough for us.
Our second commitment was to source as many of our purchases on resale websites like kijiji or craigslist. Not only does this make good economic sense (the baby product industry, and I believe I can call it that as in my opinion any industry that convinces us that our babies need a warmer for something that wipes their butts is in it for the almighty $$$), but it also supports others in your local area. In doing this, where ever possible we have tried to buy products that will last and that can be resold or donated to others at a later date.
In all of our purchases, we have tried to buy products that are made in Canada a plan that carried over from our recent home purchase. We often do this at a greater expense than if we were to cruise down to the local Walmart (there are soon to be 3 within 3 km of our house...yikes!), but I am more than willing to pay a few dollars more for something that was made here, employed a Canadian but more importantly didn't come across an ocean on a giant, diesel guzzling ship. The sad part is that what you will find is that there are many things that you simply can't find that have been produced here. Sad in the sense that it is seen as cheaper (not more sustainable) to ship millions of tiny baby spoons from across the ocean than to simply make them here...in the end though, I question the cheaper/more profitable part of this argument when in the long run it may be our generation or even worse my boys' generation that will need to figure out how to maintain society without fossil fuels to produce food, ship items, drive to work, etc.
We have also made an effort to make our own food. Again, there are sometimes that this is a challenge and it simply doesn't make sense to do so. This way we can control what is put in the food, but we can also cut down on the amount of additional waste that we generate. So far, so good on this one. Our boys seem ok with their pureed peas, carrots, yams and pears and Adrienne is an excellent cook, I haven't yet ventured into this world.
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